I want to be the kind of person who absorbs criticism, gossip, and verbal assault with grace and truth. I want to be more like the Jesus inside of me, who is teaching me to give no answer to the assailants, and send flowers to my enemies.

I'm not there yet, but I'm making progress.

I want to teach my daughters to be nice. Dangerous revolutionaries, but nice. I want Mariah to shower bullies with dandelions picked from a field of patience. I want Ambria to take no for an answer, and wait with perseverance for her deliverance from the prison of her crib.

I'm not there yet, but I'm making progress.

I want to be fully present with my wife, when she is talking to me. I want to affirm her feelings and "listen with my face". I want to wear her picture like a tattoo on my forehead. I want to learn to listen and truly hear. I want to laugh and cry with her, to pour gasoline on the flame of the unity candle, and to notice her eye shadow and the shade of her lip gloss and the outline of her body when she walks into the room. I want to be the perfect husband.

I'm not there yet, but I'm making progress.

I want to be the kind of pilgrim disciple that recognizes an inward propensity to wander. I want to follow in the footsteps of my Rabbi who welcomes me, forgives me, embraces me, and washes me clean. I want to make Him proud of me. I want to be forever vigilant, standing watch, walking on water toward Him, and never denying my allegiance to His Name. I want to declare with my actions and my words, that He is the reason for my Hope. I want to live in perpetual victory and never falter.

I'm not there yet, but by His grace, I'm making progress.


Jamie Jo said...

Right now, Mariah is only concerned about things that are pink and what she wants for a snack, and Ambria is just too irresistable with her two little pigtails. It melts my heart when two little girls wave at you when you leave and hug your leg when you return home. You are a great father (and a wonderful husband too)!

Sue said...

....and may we all be there with you and your family to love and support you because then we would also be on the same path to be more like Jesus!

Liz Nyenhuis said...

Glad you are making progress. I think we all strive to be perfect, but we all know there was only One Person who was perfect--Jesus Christ. May He continue to reign his grace and mercy down upon you and your family as you strive to be the best everything to everyone!

SoulTattoo said...

"Held"... Every time I hear that song, I think of you. Stay strong little brother and seek first the Kingdom!

janelle said...

It is great seeing you blog again Jerry! I am so happy to see how well you both are doing...God is so Good to us!

Daniel Rudd said...