9.06.2009

Left Unsaid

There are so many letters I have written, unfinished and unsent, to the ones I love (and hate). Old fashioned ink and paper; words scribbled with emotion - postmarked for you.

I saw an old friend the other day. I smiled and waved hello, assuming that he would stop and acknowledge my existence. But I should have shouted my condition as an unclean leper, to the circle of friends that once sat beside me at the Table. 

The tension hanging in the air like words left unsaid, non-verbal communication has solidified all that I hate about professional religious people. Fingers pointed, hushed whispers and manicured nails... Jesus fish on the bumper and pictures plastered on the Internet of you all hugging under the "One in Christ" banner at the local Christian music festival...

I am sustained by my neighbor, Bill. He is a gentle alcoholic, and an avid supporter of all things merciful. Sometimes he gets emotional, unashamed of his tears as he says, "You'll always have me!"

It's these fellow lepers (outcasts with criminal records and battle scars) who have colonized in solidarity with me during this season of shame and fear. In a drastic turn of the expected, I have found Jesus among these Samaritans, and they have offered me a seat at their table. 

Have mercy.



8 comments:

After The Blackbird Sings said...

"And it was always the broken hand we learned to lean on after all"

Marcia said...

I would guess that your "gentle alcoholic" has a 12 step program. If everyone did, the world would be a better place.

You'll always have me too.

Julie K. said...

your right where you should be friend, amongst those Jesus would be around if here with us in the streets. No more time, no more energy, no more tears need to be spent for fair weathered friends who forget "Do onto others ......
You'll always have me and my family too preacher man ;)

Jen Wags said...

love you J...

I understand you...

Pray for you daily...

Believing in great things for you

xo

tana and matt said...

it's hard to be Jesus to "those" that act like "that" too... that's the hardest of all! ugh. especially when i see the pain that they're causing dear friends. people that i love. grrrrrarrrrrg!

Ruth Vanderstelt said...

I will always call you friend - you are in my prayers. Rejection and indifference are the cruel weapons of the man who is afraid to look at himself. May God's love surround you and your family - ruth vanderstelt

graceflyer said...

My table is in the wilderness and in a cave where perhaps our fellow "failing forward" David hid from his "friends"~~but our Guest of Honor always comes to it with tea and crumpets singing~~"LOVE WINS"~~Thanks for coming to my table, brother preacher of the WAY~~I am sending your messages to a lost friend in Detroit cause he needs to hear truth. Preach on while the road less traveled~~~

CanAmGirl said...

If only humanity could learn that in this life we are capable of even the worst of these...and should we find ourselves in the throws of that capability; humanity, most especially Christians, would do well to follow Bill's lead in saying, "You'll always have me."
Praise the Lord that is his anthem in our lives; especially when the only constant is change...